7 Steps to a Better Divorce

By Cathy O’Mahoney of Divorce Nicely

Once you or your spouse has come to the decision that your relationship is over, it may seem that your world is at an end.  Your immediate thoughts may be of revenge and how you can make them pay.  Take a step back and don’t do anything hasty.  Many divorces land up in the Courts because one party has dug their heels in and decided that the other party is going to pay.  The following steps may help you to keep your legal costs down, make the divorce less painful and allow you to move on:

1.     Keep an Open Mind

If you both have fixed ideas of what you are expecting and are not willing to budge, then this can cause problems.  By keeping an open mind, you are permitting yourselves to explore all options to see what is best for all concerned.

2.     Listen to each other

You will be surprised at how much anger can be diffused if you listen to what is going on with the other person and what their concerns are.

3.     Be kind to yourselves

Guilt and blame may be playing a part.  Forgive yourselves and each other.  Both of you are going through turmoil, regardless of who has made the decision to end the relationship. You may have reached the end of your relationship but this also signals new beginnings.

4.     Be realistic

Your joint household will now have to accommodate two separate households.  Unless there is an opportunity to increase your income, this can be extremely difficult for separating couples to come to terms with. 

5.     Be fair to each other

Many divorces end up in Court because one person wants to make the other pay.  This only reduces your assets!  Both of you need to be housed; need contact with your children; and need to be able to live.  Things will change and you can determine whether this happens smoothly or with difficulty.

6.         Be flexible

There is more than one way to meet your needs and interests.  Mediation can help you to explore all options.

7.         Decide whether you want to be right or want to get it sorted!

Past hurts can prevent you from moving on with your life.  If you have both decided that your relationship is over, then why waste time being right?

Divorce Nicely is committed to providing an impartial, confidential, AFFORDABLE and collaborative divorce and separation service.


The contents of this article are intended for general information purposes only and shall not be deemed to be, or constitute legal advice. We cannot accept responsibility for any loss as a result of acts or omissions taken in respect of this article.