Life after divorce can be a very strange place. Where there were two of you there is now just you and things seem very different. You may feel the need to re-evaluate your life completely or just be relieved to be still going after a distressing time.
It is a time to be looking to the future. Setting yourself some goals will give you something to work towards and look forward to. Think of something you want to achieve, perhaps something you were unable to do as a married person. If you set yourself a goal then you really have something to work towards rather than just drifting through life and not achieving anything.
Setting a goal is easily done. Think of something you wish to achieve, something that is realistic and attainable. Think how you will know when that goal has been achieved. Set yourself a deadline for completion. A useful way of keeping your goals in your mind is to write them down and display them prominently. The simple act of writing your goal down makes it more likely that you will achieve it. A goal which is very challenging will give you greater satisfaction on completion.
Goals should always be stated positively. Think about what you want to gain rather than what you want to lose. For example rather than saying ‘I want to lose a stone’ the goal should state what you will have achieved such as ‘I want to be physically fit’ or ‘I want to fit into a particular outfit’.
Set long term and short term goals. They can be personal or work related. How do you want your life to look five years from now? What do you want to do in the next few weeks and months? What would you like to achieve in your lifetime? Think of the smaller steps you will need to take to reach your desired outcome. Consider how your life will have changed when you have accomplished what you set out to do.
When you reach your goals, large or small, take time to reflect on the progress you have made. Think of what you have learnt on the way and obstacles you may have overcome. Reward yourself for the work you have put in. This will help build your confidence and encourage you to set some new inspirational and challenging goals for yourself.
Tips for achieving goals
- Write it down
- Make sure you are excited inspired and challenged by your goals – how will things be different for you when you’ve achieved them?
- Enlist people around you to support you in reaching your goals
- Make sure you will know how you’ve achieved your goal
- Ensure the goal is personal i.e. not imposed by someone else.
- Set a deadline
- Celebrate your success
Caroline Love of Caroline Love Coaching
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