Financial Mediation for Divorce and Separation

To book a MIAM:

Not sure?

Instead, financial mediation gives you a structured and practical way to understand your financial position, explore your options and work towards arrangements that can help you both move forward.

At Divorce Nicely, I provide online financial mediation for separating and divorcing couples across England and Wales.

What is financial mediation?

Financial mediation helps you work through the money and property issues that arise when your relationship ends.

As your mediator, I do not take sides or decide what should happen.

Instead, I help you both:

• understand your financial position

• identify the decisions you need to make

• gather the information you need

• explore possible solutions

• consider how different options might work in practice

• work towards proposals that you both feel able to accept

Financial mediation can help you consider:

• the family home
• other property
• mortgages
• savings and investments
• pensions
• debts
• maintenance
• income and outgoings
• future housing
• how you will each manage financially after separation

Of course, every family has different circumstances.

Mediation gives you the space to look at what will work for your family and your future.

You do not need to have everything worked out before you ask for help.

Many people delay sorting out their finances because they simply do not know where to begin.

Perhaps you have never have dealt with the household finances.

You may not know exactly what you own.

Pensions may also feel confusing or difficult to understand.

Or you may look at everything that needs sorting out and feel completely overwhelmed.

That is understandable.

You do not need to arrive at mediation with all the answers.

We work through the process one stage at a time.

First, we establish what you have.

Then we look at what you both need.

Only then do we start exploring possible ways forward.

First, we build a clear picture of your finances

Before you start making decisions about how to divide your finances, you both need to understand the financial picture.

We call this financial disclosure.

You will each provide information and documents showing your financial circumstances.

These may include:

• income
• bank accounts
• savings
• investments
• property
• mortgages
• pensions
• debts and liabilities
• other significant assets

In addition, you will both have the opportunity to see the financial information the other person provides.

Financial disclosure does not mean that you distrust one another.

Even if your separation is friendly, you both need reliable information before you can make important financial decisions.

I will guide you through what you need to provide and help identify anything that is still missing.

You do not have to work this out on your own.

What happens when we have all the financial information?

Once you have both provided sufficient financial information, I prepare an Open Financial Summary.

This brings the information together so that you can see the overall financial picture more clearly.

We can then move away from gathering information and start looking at possible solutions.

For example, we might explore:

• Can either of you afford to keep the family home?
• Would selling the property give you both better housing options?
• What mortgage could each of you afford?
• How might you divide savings or investments?
• What will happen to your pensions?
• What income will each of you have after separation?
• What does each of you need for the future?
• Could one option work better than another in the longer term?

Financial mediation is not simply about dividing everything on a list.

We look at what different options would actually mean for both of you.

What about pensions?

People often overlook pensions when they first think about divorce.

Yet pensions can be one of the most valuable assets in a marriage, particularly if you have been together for many years.

They can also be difficult to understand.

For example, a pension with a value of £200,000 does not necessarily have the same practical value as £200,000 in savings or property.

Where appropriate, I may suggest that you obtain help from a pension expert.

A specialist can help you understand your pensions and the effect of different options before you make decisions.

Importantly, bringing another professional into the process does not mean that mediation has gone wrong.

Sometimes good professional input helps you make much better decisions.

What if one of us knows much more about the finances?

This is a very common concern.

In many relationships, one person has dealt with the mortgage, pensions, investments or household finances for years.

As a result, the other person may feel that they are starting several steps behind.  Read more about this in my article Will I Be at a Disadvantage in Mediation If I Don’t Understand the Finances?

You should not feel pressured into making financial decisions that you do not understand.

Financial mediation gives you time to gather information, ask questions and understand the financial picture before you start making decisions.

If you need additional advice from a solicitor, pension expert, mortgage adviser or another professional, we can identify this during the process.

The aim is to help you both make informed decisions – not quick decisions.

Will you tell us what is fair?

My role as your mediator is to remain independent and impartial.

I cannot tell either of you what you should accept or give either of you individual legal advice.

I can, however, help you understand the issues you need to consider.

During mediation, I can help you:

• identify missing information
• explore different options
• ask important questions
• consider the advantages and disadvantages of different proposals
• reality-test your ideas
• think about whether an arrangement will work in practice
• identify when you may need specialist advice

I can also provide general legal information where appropriate.

My experience in family law and family mediation means that I can help you understand the wider context while remaining neutral between you.

Do we still need solicitors?

Mediators and solicitors have different roles.

A mediator works with both of you and remains neutral.

A solicitor advises one person and looks after that person’s individual legal interests.

Many couples use mediation to do the main work of gathering financial information, exploring options and developing proposals.

You can then use your solicitors for focused legal advice rather than asking them to conduct every stage of the negotiation.

I will usually recommend that you both obtain independent legal advice before you turn your final financial proposals into a legally binding agreement.

This gives each of you the opportunity to understand the legal effect of what you propose before you become bound by it.

What happens if we reach an agreement?

If you reach financial proposals through mediation, I can prepare documents that record the outcome.

These will usually include:

Open Financial Summary

The Open Financial Summary records the financial information you have both provided.

Memorandum of Understanding

The Memorandum of Understanding records the proposals you have reached and the thinking behind them.

The Memorandum of Understanding is not a legally binding court order.

You can then take the mediation documents to your respective solicitors.

They can advise you independently and, where appropriate, turn your proposals into a financial consent order for the court to approve.

Is financial mediation suitable for us?

You do not need to agree about everything before you start mediation.

In fact, if you already agreed about everything, you probably would not need much help.

Financial mediation can work where you have different views but still want to find a constructive way forward.

It may suit you if:

• you want to avoid an unnecessary court battle
• you need help understanding your finances
• you want a structured way to discuss difficult issues
• you want to keep control of your decisions
• you want to keep professional costs proportionate
• you need help exploring realistic options
• you worry that you might be financially disadvantaged
• you want to separate as constructively as possible

The important question is not whether you agree now.

The question is whether you can both take part safely and constructively in a process designed to help you find a way forward.

What if we are still living in the same house?

You do not need to wait until one of you moves out before you start sorting out your finances.

Many separating couples continue living under the same roof because neither can see how they could afford to live separately.

That can leave you feeling stuck.

Financial mediation can help you explore what would need to happen before you can establish two separate homes.

Sometimes understanding the financial possibilities helps you see options that were difficult to see before.

We are getting on well. Do we really need financial disclosure?

Yes.

Being amicable is a very good starting point, but you still need a clear financial picture before making important decisions.

Full financial disclosure protects both of you.

It helps make sure that:

• you both work from the same information
• you understand what assets and liabilities exist
• you can make informed decisions
• neither of you has to rely on assumptions
• you have a clear record of the financial position

Financial disclosure does not make an amicable divorce more confrontational.

Handled properly, it can do the opposite.

It gives you a sound foundation for making decisions together.

Read more in my article We’re Still Friendly – Do We Really Need Full Financial Disclosure?

Financial mediation without unnecessary conflict

You may want to separate fairly without turning your divorce into a fight.

You may want to protect your future without becoming confrontational.

Those two things can sit together.

Mediation does not ask you to give in.

It does not require you to agree for the sake of keeping the peace.

And it does not guarantee that every conversation will be easy.

Instead, it gives you a structured place to have the conversations you need to have.

You can ask questions.

You can consider different possibilities.

You can take advice when you need it.

And you can take time to understand the consequences before agreeing to anything.

Step 2 – Information gathering

If you both decide to continue, during your first mediation session I will explain what financial information and documents you need to provide.

Step 4 – We explore your options

Once you both understand the finances, we start looking at possible solutions.

We consider what matters to each of you and how different options might work in practice.

Step 6 – You take legal advice

You can then take the mediation documents to your respective solicitors for independent legal advice.

Where appropriate, a solicitor can prepare a financial consent order for the court to approve.

Not sure where to start?

You do not need to know what the final financial arrangement should look like.

You do not even need to know all the questions you need to ask.

Your first step is simply to understand your options.

A private Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting gives you the opportunity to tell me what is happening, understand how financial mediation could work in your circumstances and decide what you want to do next.

To arrange a MIAM, please complete the Participant Questionnaire below.  Once you have completed your participant questionnaire, I will be in touch to arrange an appointment.

Online family mediation across England and Wales.